Mom confession time!



Our MOPS group is currently doing a bible study using the book "No More Perfect Moms" written by Jill Savage. We are three chapters in and I feel like I might burst from all of the insight, perspective, and peace it is giving me. I wanted to share those things with everyone I can, because letting go of negativity and letting the Holy Spirit in is such an amazing thing!

Ok, Mom confession time.
I yell at my kids at least once a day
I've killed their joy by yelling at them for playing too loudly
I say no a lot because I'm to preoccupied to get something out that they want, or I don't want them to make a mess.
I have judged other moms and other people
I have told myself I'm better than other people

Chapters 2 and 3 of this book are fantastic, I really do recommend every mom, even dads, read this book. I wanted to cry through all of chapter 3, I'll get to that in a minute.

Like most of us I have a problem with pride, and that is just the sort of thing that would keep me from confessing my shortcomings. I don't want to be judged, I don't want to people to think I'm a bad mom. The thing is though, I'm not a bad mom, I'm an imperfect mom. Humility is an amazing thing. I won't quote the book, I'm not sure if that's a copyright issue, but I will say that if you take the time to focus on humility instead of pride, it will give you a great joy and peace. No more hiding your shortcomings, no more judging others for theirs. It's a liberating feeling.

Chapter 3 focuses on our expectations of our kids. I always thought I had a handle on that. They don't need to get perfect grades, I don't even expect them to go to college. Sure, those things would be great, but expectations always lead to disappointment. There is so much more to it than that. While reading this book, I realized that I have unrealistic expectations for them right now. Expectations that kill their joy, and cause me to have outbursts where they aren't necessary.

We're getting ready to go somewhere and I need to get Billy's coat and shoes on him but he wants to jump around for 30 seconds more. Jumping is definitely his favorite mode of transportation. I yell at him to "get over here NOW!" When we get in the car instead of sitting in his seat he walks around the van. I yell at him to "get in his seat NOW!" When the kids are laughing and playing, they are getting along but loudly, I yell "settle down NOW!" I expect my kids to listen to me when I tell them to stop doing something that is actually wrong, but getting angry with them for doing things that give them joy as children, I can do better than that. God trusted me to care for them, to train them up in the Lord. They trust me to care for them, and I feel like I'm letting them down.

Also my kids will make actual mistakes. I really was expecting perfection without even realizing it. If I let them make mistakes, I'd be giving them grace, which is something we all need to give and receive a little more of in a world of imperfect people.

I'm in such a habit now of quick and hot responses to things that don't warrant it, it's going to be a tough habit to break. I'm in such a habit of saying no, it's going to be tough to break. I'm going to do my best here. There are still many more chapters in this book and I can't wait to see what clarity it brings on subjects like our bodies, our marriages, our homes, and more. Whether your faith is strong or non existent this book can change your perspective and guide you away from high expectations and worry, and towards peace and confidence in yourself as a person and a mom.

More information is available on http://www.heartsathome.org/ and you can buy the book on amazon.com or christianbook.com



It's the little things- 1 month down

Previously when I was trying to lose weight I'd try a thing or two which would lead to temporary success. This time I'm using as many tools as I can to keep me motivated month after month.
I titled this "The little things" because aside from eating right and exercising, there are little motivators I'm using to keep me pushing forward.

1. Photos
I took photos of myself on day one. Unflattering, tight clothed, straight up "this is what you look like" photos. I also look at them frequently. Not only has that helped me but when I took pictures again 2 weeks in, WOW! It certainly doesn't matter what the scale says, it's what your body shows.

2. Take measurements
I had to take a step back from the scale. Especially because it's digital to 1/10th of a pound and fluctuates every day. Measurement show results!

3. Accountability
This chart is in my face every time I'm in the kitchen. It says "you will do this all year, and you will not let those numbers go up month to month."
 

So here it is. One month of hard work and commitment has brought me here:
Weight: -8.8 lbs
Neck: -1 in.
Arm: -.5 in.
Bust: -2.5 in.
Waist: -2 in.
Hips: -2
Thigh: -0
Calf: -.5 in.
Total inches lost: 8.5!

There is also a significant difference in my photos but again, not ready to share ;)

My goal for this month, and every month until the end of the year, is to lose 5lbs. It's not a lot, it's a slow moving process, but I know if I try to lose too much too fast I set myself up for failure in two ways. I could end up crash dieting which only shows short term success, or I could give up because I'm not hitting goals that were unrealistic anyway.
On February 8th I begin a program called the 21 day shred via www.skinnymom.com Regularly the plan is $49.00 but there is a special limited time (I'm going to call it a STEAL) going on right now. If you buy her cookbook, which is half the price of the shred, you'll get the plan for free! Also you end up with all these great recipes to try for your family that are healthy but DELIOUSIOUS! My husband has loved every one of them so far and my picky toddlers have, well, liked most of them, which is a big deal in itself! Anyway click here to find the special offer! There is plenty of time to get ready for it if you want to do this with me!
I also decided not to renew my gym membership this month and I will instead do the home workout videos from skinny mom and start running again! I've come up with a workout schedule for myself

Monday: Run
Tuesday: Ladder 10 workout (this will make you feel awesome!)
Wednesday: Run
Thursday: Slow workout, muscle build and tone
Friday: Run
Saturday: Ladder 10 workout
Sunday: Slow workout, muscle build and tone

 I'm only just starting out again, I haven't run in over 2 years, so it's really just walking with short running intervals for now. When I used to run, I couldn't believe how much I ended up loving it and you could too just give it a chance! If you want to run with me, come out and run with me!

I'm excited to see what results February brings!

 

Baby on board

(Written the day i found out I was pregnant with Alexis)

Today I got some wonderful news.

Today I found out I am pregnant with you.

I took a pregnancy test this morning. While I anxiously waited for the results I prayed to be pregnant. I told myself I'm probably not I told myself I wish I am, you know, the normal thoughts a woman thinks when she hopes to have another baby.

Even though this was my 3rd time around, the feeling that washed over me when I saw the word pregnant was just as overwhelming as the times before.

My body is home to new life again. We are so blessed.

I immediately ran upstairs to get out the big brother shirts for both of my boys. Tim wasn't home yet so that was how I would tell him. I took a shower, and used that time to pray and thank God for this pregnancy. I fixed my hair and straightened up the house. I wanted everything to look nice when Tim came home.

He didn't catch on right away and I was ready to burst so I told him to read Billy's shirt. Then I pulled the test out of my pocket to show him. We are both very excited.

We can't wait to meet you in 9 months. This is likely the last time I will be pregnant so I will cherish every moment. When I see you, hear your heartbeat, feel you move. I love you my sweet little baby. 

You are a gift from God I will love you every second of my life.

7 day natural food meal plan for around $50

I promised myself I would not spend the rest of my 20's not loving myself.
That was almost a year ago and since then I've gained 10 pounds. Of course, I had a baby in that time, but now our precious girl is 2 months old and I'm still +10 of my pre-baby weight. I'm miserable.
My husband, who is so awesome, and so tired of listening to me come down on myself (this man still tells me I'm gorgeous, can't figure that one out but I'm glad he thinks so) back to my sentence, is supporting me by getting me a gym membership, and taking care of the kids when I go. He is also eating dinners with a healthy twist and telling me he likes them. Although I know he misses real bacon and ground beef in his diet.

Today is the 1st day of a better life. And now I'm writing about it and sharing it with you, my friends and family, so I pretty much have to be committed to it.

I'm trying a 7 day natural foods meal plan. A fruit and veggie smoothie detox wouldn't be appropriate because I'm nursing. I came up with my own plan. I have no idea if it's going to work. I'll update this post daily with a list of food I consumed. I went shopping this morning and I'm ready to go.

I'm even going to share my weight with you today.

This is my number. I'm not hiding behind strategic selfies or maternity clothing (yes, still!) I'm also tracking my measurements and have taken what I hope to be the before photos but I'm not ready to share those right now. We'll see how this goes!

SEVEN DAY NATURAL FOOD MEAT PLAN

Everything is measured except fruits and vegetables,
I just eat however much of those I want

Day one:

Breakfast: 2 hard boiled eggs

Lunch: 4 oz swiss cheese, whole kiwi, baby carrots

Dinner: Grilled salmon, steamed broccoli, salad

Snacks: Grapes and 3 oz of mixed unsalted nuts

Day two:
Breakfast: skipped. Horrible migrane this morning. Would have been 2 hard boiled eggs and some strawberries
Lunch: 4 oz white cheddar cheese, baby carrots
Dinner: Cajun seasoned 4 oz grilled chicken breast, mushrooms sautéed in olive oil, steamed broccoli
Snacks: 3 oz mixed unsalted nuts,  hard boiled egg, tomato seasoned with all natural sea salt grinder

Day three: 
Breakfast: Two hard boiled eggs, strawberries
Lunch: 4 oz monterey jack cheese, baked mushrooms, grapes

Dinner: 4 oz grilled chickem, mushrooms and broccoli sautéed in olive oil with natural sea salt

Snack: 3 oz nuts, carrots, 4 oz swiss cheese

Day four: 

Breakfast: 2 hard boiled eggs

Lunch: 4 oz white cheddar cheese

Dinner: Grilled salmon with fresh lemon, grapes

Snacks: 3 oz nuts, hard boiled egg

Day five:

Breakfast: 2 hard boiled eggs

Lunch: 4 oz jack cheese, cup of fresh fruit

Dinner: 6 oz grilled chicken, sautéed mushrooms and green bell peppers

Snacks: hard boiled egg, 3 oz of nuts

(I slipped today and had some banana bread and hot pockets.) Oops!

Day six:

Breakfast: 2 hard boiled eggs, banana

Lunch: 6 oz cheddar cheese

Dinner: Grilled chicken with sautéed bell pepper and mushroom

Snacks: 3 oz nuts, hard boiled egg

Day seven:

Spent so much time re organizing my kitchen that I hardly ate

Breakfast: skipped

Lunch: 6 oz cheddar cheese

Dinner: Grilled salmon with fresh lemon, broccoli cheese rice (I realize the rice isn't natural but it is the last day and all I had left. 

Snacks: hard boiled egg

Add in 30-40 minutes of cardio 5 of the 7 days

Morning of day 8!!!!

I'm actually glad this week is over. It was very difficult. I have a great meal plan for this next week that has more variety but is still healthy. My new number after 7 days is:

Pounds lost: 5.8! I'm very excited about this it means I lost almost a full pound a day. Who knows, maybe I could have done better without a few moments of weakness throughout the week but I'm not perfect and I still did pretty well. 

Inches lost:

Neck: -.5

Arm: 0

Bust: -3 :( although I can't say if such a huge loss had to do with breastfeeding. I measured this time right after nursing I may not have when I measured the 1st time)

Waist: -1

Hips: -2

Thigh: 0

Calf: 0

6.5 inches all over my body in one week is pretty good I'd say :)

Also my very supportive husband will be home soon with the dunkin iced coffee I've been craving all week. Hey, I deserve it!

Seven things I've learned so far as a MOPS coordinator

Last summer a woman who attended church with me made a suggestion that I might enjoy joining a MOPS group. I thought it would be a good idea so I started looking into it. When I did a search there was only one MOPS group in the county I live in. At the time my husband and I were sharing a car and it fell on a day and hour I would need to pick him up from work. I saw a link on the website about starting a group and thought it sounded like a nice idea but it might not be right for me.

The more I thought about it, and prayed about it, the more I felt God placing it on my heart that I needed to do this. Our family had just started the transition to the church I grew up in. I was nervous about asking my Pastor, who didn't even know me yet,  about starting a new ministry in the church. I took the plunge however and I was glad I did because he responded very positively and from there a new MOPS group began.

My home church is very supportive. I have been so fortunate to have the help of the Pastor's wife from day one. Everything came together and in just a short time our first meeting was upon us. 

When we had our first meeting there were only 3 of us registered. Three people attended that meeting. We are halfway through the year now and we have 9 registered moms. Our leadership team grew to 4 and we have a great mentor mom as well.

I've been learning a lot since we began and I wanted to take some time to talk about the impact MOPS has had on me.

1. I've learned to pass no judgment.
I never liked this about myself but there were times when another mom did things differently than I did and it didn't make sense to me. I wondered why they didn't do what I did. One of the great things about MOPS is that it is for all moms from all walks of life with all different parenting styles. So I adopted that way of thinking.  Every mom raises her children with one goal in mind. To do what is best for them. We are all unique and all have different ideas on what is best, but we all love our kids and would go to the ends of the earth for them. That's what is truly important.

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Luke 6:37

2. I've learned to delegate.
I've always been somewhat of a type A personality. Our group started out with 2 leaders and I'm glad it did. It didn't take me long to realize that MOPS can be a lot of work! I was feeling exhausted and not enjoying the experience as much as I could. God had a hand in that. He knows what kind of person I am and I belive he needed me to realize what would happen if I felt like I needed to take too much on myself. There are now 4 of us leaders and while I pray there are more in the future, each of these ladies are a blessing and learning to allow others to take on some of what needs to be done was just what I needed.

Jethro says to Moses in Exodus 18: You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you, you cannot handle it alone. Exodus chapter 18 is a great lesson in leadership from Moses' father-in-law Jethro.

3. I've learned even more how much the Lord provides.

When you have a MOPS group it doesn't always go as planned. There are bumps in the road with finances and childcare especially. However, we always get by. We had one night a worker couldn't make it unexpectedly and we thought we would be short but we gained another volunteer that same night! The number of children increased and we had unfortunately lost one worker but we gained 3 more! All of our MOPPETS volunteers are dedicated and amazing with the kids! They are such a blessing! We've had a successful fundraiser and support from our congregation that have kept us going and it has been humbling and amazing to see God at work for our ministry.

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

4. The numbers aren't important.
I was very disappointed over the attendance at our first meeting. I have since learned that no matter how many moms are at a meeting, the important thing is that we are all enjoying ourselves and all connecting with eachother. No matter how few of us there are, we all matter and we all need MOPS.
God will guide the women through the door in his timing. That is all we can ask for.

There is a time for everything,  and a season for every activity under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

5. Sometimes it's okay to throw away the schedule.
Here is where my type A comes in again. There is a plan for each meeting.  There are also times when we get into a discussion or someone is telling a story and before we know it our time together is over. No we didn't get through everything on the agenda but a mom, or multiple moms, opened up and showed her brave by sharing her story and it's a benefit to all of us whether we can relate or just be that person to talk to. That mom walks away knowing she is impotant and we care about her and what she has to say. If you ask me though MOPS should be 3 hours long!  We all have such a great time and it goes by too fast!

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9

6. Don't sweat the small stuff.
A craft isn't going as we thought it would.
Are we going to have enough snacks?
Am I forgetting something?
Will EVERYONE like the things we are doing tonight?
Did I say something wrong?
Will I have enough time to prepare?
Just a few of the questions that run through our heads as leaders. Before I know it I'm overwhelmed with thoughts but guess what?
We had a good laugh over the craft fail
Nobody said they didn't have enough to eat.
Everyone won't like everything but we are all unique and it's ok because they all keep coming back so why was I worried?
I can make a list of what I need so I can remember everything without worrying and miraculously everything comes together no matter what.
Nobody is perfect and nobody expects me to be perfect. So I don't need to sweat the small stuff.

Cast all your anxieties on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

7. Most importantly I've learned to be brave!
This year's theme is so fitting for me as a first time coordinator. Be you, bravely. From the first moment of asking a Pastor who didn't even know me if I could start a MOPS group, to speaking out and leading discussions, the difficulties and blessings of being a leader. Everything it entails takes bravery. I am so fortunate that God led me to MOPS. It's not always easy buy I wouldn't trade it.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

MOPS has changed me. I believe it can have that impact on any mom whether she is a leader or a member. I've learned these things and I have so much more to learn. I can't wait to see what MOPS teaches me next. Each one of the women I've met and gotten to know this year is special,  and I hope they know that too!

A day in the life of Timmy

Timmy is my sweet and sensitive child. He is pretty laid back, he gets that from his Dad. He can also be very emotional. Let me tell you a little about him through his daily life.

He likes to sleep in. Not until Lunchtime or anything but he sleeps 10-12 hours a night so he doesn't usually get up until around 9:00. He comes downstairs and his thick dark hair is all over the place, especially when he is due for a haircut. 

He sits on the couch, sometimes he wants to cuddle up against me other times he wants to grab his tablet or my Kindle and play some games. He would do it most of the day if he could. I have to restrict his game time which is one thing he gets emotional about.

He let's me know when he is hungry for breakfast. If I try to make him eat the minute he wakes up he usually doesn't eat it.

He has his own responsibilities at home. One of which is putting his dishes in the sink after eating. He often forgets and needs to be reminded but he does it without grumbling.

Timmy is very independent. He will often entertain himself. He also likes to go to his room with Billy and play with him a few times throughout the day.

At lunch I ask him what he wants to eat. He ALWAYS says perogies. He doesn't always get them but it is definitely his favorite food.

He likes things to match. His plate and his cup and sometimes during Billys nap he is allowed to race 4 wheelers or snowboard on the xbox. He wants his vehicle to match what his character is wearing.

Sometimes he asks to do a craft. So I get out the paints because he loves to paint. I take the time to drop all the colors on a little pallet for him. Ten minutes later he is done painting. Any craft this kid does takes less time then prepping for it or cleaning up but that's ok because he had fun doing it.

On the other hand, he will play with kinetic sand almost twice as long. He likes things that require more motion.

He spends the afternoon watching a movie. Usually the same movie every day for a couple of weeks, sometimes twice a day. Right now it's Madagascar 3.

He whines when commercials are on. He got spoiled with DVR. He knows how to fast forward through them. He gets frustrated when we aren't watching a recording but that's ok because if I tickle him the commercials will be over soon. So I tickle him and before we know it he is watching his show again.

Here is an example of what happens when I'm cooking dinner:
"Mommy what are you making? "
"Stuffed Shells"
"I don't like stuffed shells"
This is his response to any meal in which I answer him with more than the word chicken

He doesn't like "big green seasonings"
Or anything green for that matter
But he will munch on almost any vegetable when it's raw. Cooked veggies are for the birds.

Just like me when I was a kid.
Notice the matching cup and plate?

After dinner he has a burst of energy! He climbs onto then jumps off of everything he can and races around the house.

He requests popcorn for snack and he likes to watch it pop.

At bedtime he often asks to have a "camp-over." This is when we all sleep on the couch. We do this about once a week but I'd rather sleep in my bed so once a week is enough.

We brush our teeth and read some books. He loves his cars spot and find book. He memorized where almost everything is pretty quickly.

He says his child's bedtime prayer. We have been saying it for two years and he knows it by heart now but I never get tired of hearing his sweet little voice praying to God.

He is my first little blessing. My precious gift from God, that he has trusted me to raise to be a Godly man. 

He is growing up so fast but I know even when he is grown and has kids of his own, I will be looking up at him and still seeing his sweet little boy face.

  

Why do I blog?

I have a handful of topics that I choose to blog about. Each time I post there is a reason. Each thought I share with my friends and family has a purpose. I thought I would briefly share why I do what I do.

1. To motivate. 
This is what you would often get out of my healthy living posts. I want to motivate not just myself but others. It helps me hold myself accountable. I also hope to motivate others to be more active as well.

2. To encourage.
I enjoy writing about the direction in my life that is led by God. I want to share these things to encourage others and make disciples as the Lord says we should. I know not everyone is a believer but if I can help one person gain clarity in something they are struggling with I'm happy. If not, then I still benefit from sharing because it glorifies God and makes me feel brave.

3. To remember.
My precious children are amazing. Someday, when they are grown,  I want them to have these stories to look back on. I want to look back on them as well. It will be nice to be able to share details with them about their lives growing up I might otherwise have forgotten.

4. To reflect.
When I write, it makes me really consider what I'm writing about. Why do I feel this way? What have I gained from this experience? How am I pleasing God? What am I still unsure of? Am I brave enough for this? Those and many other questions run through my mind when I post. Sometimes I will just start writing (right now I have about 5 unfinished posts) and it makes me stop, think, and put things into perspective before I finish it.

5. To inspire.
Maybe some of you have thought about staring a blog, or just writing. I've been inspired by other writers and I hope to inspire more because I believe everyone can benefit from putting their thoughts down whether they choose to share it with everyone or not share it at all.

I hope that all of you enjoy reading what I have to say and will continue to share your thoughts on it.