The War Room, and how it's inspired me to break away from all social media

If you haven't seen "War Room" yet, I'm disclosing that I'm not about to add any spoilers, but below there is a brief synapse of the movie. :)

Last night I finally got to watch "War Room." It was a fantastic movie, both touching and humorous. The roles played by Priscilla Shirer, Karen Abercrombie, and T.C. Stallings were inspired and moving. If you don't know what it's about, it is about a couple who is struggling in their marriage and in their spiritual life, and with the help of a very funny and Godly mentor, they are able to repair their marriage and get right with God. Elizabeth Jordan, played by Priscilla Shirer, describes her life as "too busy" for time of prayer and a relationship with Jesus. I think a lot of us Christians go through phases of life when we feel that way. Currently, I have a full schedule of classes, responsibilities as a wife and mother, and spending time with my friends and other family when I can, there just isn't time for God and Jesus in the picture right?
Wrong! I don't spend EVERY WAKING MOMENT taking care of my family, playing with my family, and studying for tests. I spend time watching TV in the evenings, I spend time playing candy crush and scrolling through social media. In fact, I spend quite a bit of my morning with my smartphone. Right there, that is something superficial that is getting in the way of me and Jesus. I like knowing what is going on with my friends and family, but since when is that the only thing facebook offers? If it was, we'd spend a lot less time with it. 
So here I am again, wanting to take a hiatus from social media. Except it will be an extremely long hiatus. Because I'm consumed in a big way by school work, I'm putting my social media accounts aside, at least for the duration of this semester, in order to focus more on what's important. I am nothing without God, so I need him first and foremost. 
I've heard great things about the books written by Stormie Omartian such as The Power of a Praying Wife, and The Power of a Praying Mom. I can't wait to read all of them, but first I will read The Power of a Praying Woman, because I feel it's important to get my own relationship with God right before anything else. 

I'm looking forward to this next great read, and really getting my life back in order! Christianbooks is having a "fall mega sale" right now, so I'd love to have some ladies join me in this bible study. We can have discussions in my home or online. If you love Jesus but are looking to build a stronger relationship, or don't know Jesus and are looking to learn more, Join me on this journey! I'll order you a book just send me a message! 

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

                                   Matthew 6:33

Mom confession time!



Our MOPS group is currently doing a bible study using the book "No More Perfect Moms" written by Jill Savage. We are three chapters in and I feel like I might burst from all of the insight, perspective, and peace it is giving me. I wanted to share those things with everyone I can, because letting go of negativity and letting the Holy Spirit in is such an amazing thing!

Ok, Mom confession time.
I yell at my kids at least once a day
I've killed their joy by yelling at them for playing too loudly
I say no a lot because I'm to preoccupied to get something out that they want, or I don't want them to make a mess.
I have judged other moms and other people
I have told myself I'm better than other people

Chapters 2 and 3 of this book are fantastic, I really do recommend every mom, even dads, read this book. I wanted to cry through all of chapter 3, I'll get to that in a minute.

Like most of us I have a problem with pride, and that is just the sort of thing that would keep me from confessing my shortcomings. I don't want to be judged, I don't want to people to think I'm a bad mom. The thing is though, I'm not a bad mom, I'm an imperfect mom. Humility is an amazing thing. I won't quote the book, I'm not sure if that's a copyright issue, but I will say that if you take the time to focus on humility instead of pride, it will give you a great joy and peace. No more hiding your shortcomings, no more judging others for theirs. It's a liberating feeling.

Chapter 3 focuses on our expectations of our kids. I always thought I had a handle on that. They don't need to get perfect grades, I don't even expect them to go to college. Sure, those things would be great, but expectations always lead to disappointment. There is so much more to it than that. While reading this book, I realized that I have unrealistic expectations for them right now. Expectations that kill their joy, and cause me to have outbursts where they aren't necessary.

We're getting ready to go somewhere and I need to get Billy's coat and shoes on him but he wants to jump around for 30 seconds more. Jumping is definitely his favorite mode of transportation. I yell at him to "get over here NOW!" When we get in the car instead of sitting in his seat he walks around the van. I yell at him to "get in his seat NOW!" When the kids are laughing and playing, they are getting along but loudly, I yell "settle down NOW!" I expect my kids to listen to me when I tell them to stop doing something that is actually wrong, but getting angry with them for doing things that give them joy as children, I can do better than that. God trusted me to care for them, to train them up in the Lord. They trust me to care for them, and I feel like I'm letting them down.

Also my kids will make actual mistakes. I really was expecting perfection without even realizing it. If I let them make mistakes, I'd be giving them grace, which is something we all need to give and receive a little more of in a world of imperfect people.

I'm in such a habit now of quick and hot responses to things that don't warrant it, it's going to be a tough habit to break. I'm in such a habit of saying no, it's going to be tough to break. I'm going to do my best here. There are still many more chapters in this book and I can't wait to see what clarity it brings on subjects like our bodies, our marriages, our homes, and more. Whether your faith is strong or non existent this book can change your perspective and guide you away from high expectations and worry, and towards peace and confidence in yourself as a person and a mom.

More information is available on http://www.heartsathome.org/ and you can buy the book on amazon.com or christianbook.com



Seven things I've learned so far as a MOPS coordinator

Last summer a woman who attended church with me made a suggestion that I might enjoy joining a MOPS group. I thought it would be a good idea so I started looking into it. When I did a search there was only one MOPS group in the county I live in. At the time my husband and I were sharing a car and it fell on a day and hour I would need to pick him up from work. I saw a link on the website about starting a group and thought it sounded like a nice idea but it might not be right for me.

The more I thought about it, and prayed about it, the more I felt God placing it on my heart that I needed to do this. Our family had just started the transition to the church I grew up in. I was nervous about asking my Pastor, who didn't even know me yet,  about starting a new ministry in the church. I took the plunge however and I was glad I did because he responded very positively and from there a new MOPS group began.

My home church is very supportive. I have been so fortunate to have the help of the Pastor's wife from day one. Everything came together and in just a short time our first meeting was upon us. 

When we had our first meeting there were only 3 of us registered. Three people attended that meeting. We are halfway through the year now and we have 9 registered moms. Our leadership team grew to 4 and we have a great mentor mom as well.

I've been learning a lot since we began and I wanted to take some time to talk about the impact MOPS has had on me.

1. I've learned to pass no judgment.
I never liked this about myself but there were times when another mom did things differently than I did and it didn't make sense to me. I wondered why they didn't do what I did. One of the great things about MOPS is that it is for all moms from all walks of life with all different parenting styles. So I adopted that way of thinking.  Every mom raises her children with one goal in mind. To do what is best for them. We are all unique and all have different ideas on what is best, but we all love our kids and would go to the ends of the earth for them. That's what is truly important.

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Luke 6:37

2. I've learned to delegate.
I've always been somewhat of a type A personality. Our group started out with 2 leaders and I'm glad it did. It didn't take me long to realize that MOPS can be a lot of work! I was feeling exhausted and not enjoying the experience as much as I could. God had a hand in that. He knows what kind of person I am and I belive he needed me to realize what would happen if I felt like I needed to take too much on myself. There are now 4 of us leaders and while I pray there are more in the future, each of these ladies are a blessing and learning to allow others to take on some of what needs to be done was just what I needed.

Jethro says to Moses in Exodus 18: You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you, you cannot handle it alone. Exodus chapter 18 is a great lesson in leadership from Moses' father-in-law Jethro.

3. I've learned even more how much the Lord provides.

When you have a MOPS group it doesn't always go as planned. There are bumps in the road with finances and childcare especially. However, we always get by. We had one night a worker couldn't make it unexpectedly and we thought we would be short but we gained another volunteer that same night! The number of children increased and we had unfortunately lost one worker but we gained 3 more! All of our MOPPETS volunteers are dedicated and amazing with the kids! They are such a blessing! We've had a successful fundraiser and support from our congregation that have kept us going and it has been humbling and amazing to see God at work for our ministry.

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

4. The numbers aren't important.
I was very disappointed over the attendance at our first meeting. I have since learned that no matter how many moms are at a meeting, the important thing is that we are all enjoying ourselves and all connecting with eachother. No matter how few of us there are, we all matter and we all need MOPS.
God will guide the women through the door in his timing. That is all we can ask for.

There is a time for everything,  and a season for every activity under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

5. Sometimes it's okay to throw away the schedule.
Here is where my type A comes in again. There is a plan for each meeting.  There are also times when we get into a discussion or someone is telling a story and before we know it our time together is over. No we didn't get through everything on the agenda but a mom, or multiple moms, opened up and showed her brave by sharing her story and it's a benefit to all of us whether we can relate or just be that person to talk to. That mom walks away knowing she is impotant and we care about her and what she has to say. If you ask me though MOPS should be 3 hours long!  We all have such a great time and it goes by too fast!

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9

6. Don't sweat the small stuff.
A craft isn't going as we thought it would.
Are we going to have enough snacks?
Am I forgetting something?
Will EVERYONE like the things we are doing tonight?
Did I say something wrong?
Will I have enough time to prepare?
Just a few of the questions that run through our heads as leaders. Before I know it I'm overwhelmed with thoughts but guess what?
We had a good laugh over the craft fail
Nobody said they didn't have enough to eat.
Everyone won't like everything but we are all unique and it's ok because they all keep coming back so why was I worried?
I can make a list of what I need so I can remember everything without worrying and miraculously everything comes together no matter what.
Nobody is perfect and nobody expects me to be perfect. So I don't need to sweat the small stuff.

Cast all your anxieties on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

7. Most importantly I've learned to be brave!
This year's theme is so fitting for me as a first time coordinator. Be you, bravely. From the first moment of asking a Pastor who didn't even know me if I could start a MOPS group, to speaking out and leading discussions, the difficulties and blessings of being a leader. Everything it entails takes bravery. I am so fortunate that God led me to MOPS. It's not always easy buy I wouldn't trade it.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

MOPS has changed me. I believe it can have that impact on any mom whether she is a leader or a member. I've learned these things and I have so much more to learn. I can't wait to see what MOPS teaches me next. Each one of the women I've met and gotten to know this year is special,  and I hope they know that too!

Why should I put God before my family?

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you"     Matthew 6:3 NIV

This question was something I didn't know the answer to for a long time. I was brought up in the church, I heard it all the time. "Put God first in your life." After I became a wife and mother I still didn't understand how I could possibly put God before my own spouse and children. This just sounded unfair to them, almost selfish. I didn't know God personally, why was it so important for him to be my first thought in everything?

The book that I have been reading, "The Excellent Wife," (see marriage tab of my blog) has been teaching me more than just how to be a Godly wife, it's been teaching me how to be a Godly human being.

God wants to be first in my life and now I understand why. I think about what God wants from me all the time. I think about how I am to act and treat others according to his word. When I'm happy, angry, frustrated, or sad, I open my bible and I read and I learn. It was like a light bulb came on.

God should be first in my life, because everything I learn from his word, makes my relationships better. Before I yell at someone for doing something wrong, I remember not to repay evil with evil. Before I spend too much time worrying over things, I remember to cast my anxieties on the Lord, because he cares for me. When I'm happy, I remember that it is the will of God for me to be happy, and give thanks to him for that. If I am feeling bitter about someone, I remember that God forgives my sins, and I can easily forgive others of theirs. If I am sad, I remember that the Lord saves the crushed in spirit.

All of these things come from scripture. When you pick up the bible, you will find verses all over it that can be comforting and make perfect sense if you have an open mind and an open heart.

"In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:6 NIV

Because I seek guidance from God for all things in my life, he gives this to me!

A big problem I had was spending way too much time wondering how this person or that person felt about me. What have I done wrong? What have I said that was wrong? Do they even like me?

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."    Galations 1:10 NIV

I don't worry anymore, I feel the love of those who love me, and wash away the sadness for those who don't accept me because I am glorifying God and he is my protector.

Putting my relationships with man first before God is like having people in your life and no guidance for living in harmony and happiness with them. Putting God first before man is having the wisdom and ability to make the relationships I have with the people I love thrive.

Makes sense to me.