Why I am choosing to be a submissive wife

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as you do to the Lord"   Ephesians 5:22

Maybe this sounds crazy to some of you. How could a strong, independent woman, ever do such a thing as this? Surely this means I should let my husband make all the decisions on his own, tell me what to do, walk all over me, and take advantage of me while I silently make every effort to meet his demands and please him.

This might sound like a typical reaction to what it seems God is asking us as wives to do according to scripture. However, it is just one of the common misconceptions about what these verses actually mean for us to do.

I am a submissive wife.

Don't get me wrong, I make mistakes in this area almost every day. It was only recently that I handed my duty as as wife over to God because I didn't know what else to do. I started reading "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace and I knew as I read that I was responsible for a lot of the problems I was upset about. She says no matter what percent of the problems in your marriage you are responsible for, you should take 100% of the responsibility for them.

I started striving to understand my husband and meet his needs. After all, the most important person in my marriage should be my spouse. I started asking for his input on everything and following his lead. I'm learning patience and respect in bigger ways and when I feel frustrated or unsure I talk to God and it calms me.

"Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others" Philippians 2:4

The dynamic between my husband and I has shifted. We are arguing less and considering each others needs more.

If being a submissive wife means respecting my husband, full filling his requests as long as it's not a sin, asking him what he thinks before doing things for myself, saving time in my schedule for him as opposed to giving him what I have left at the end of the day, praying for him, and not selfishly seeking my own way, then I can do all of this!

"It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18

I am my husband's helper. When I am a pleasant and loving wife who considers things from his point of view, he is happy. I am glorifying God so there for I am happy. Our marriage is better than ever.

 While there are still so many that don't believe what amazing things God can do and has in store for us, I believe, and all of my needs are being met, and I credit that to God.

Sharing this post is scary. I know some of you might be shaking your head at this, and that's ok. This is for me, this is for wives seeking answers from God. This is me.

"It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil." 1 Peter 3:17

The Excellent Wife

I've been spending a lot of time praying about and seeking ways to improve my marriage. Let's confess for those of us who are married, our marriages aren't perfect. Some of us argue more than others. Some of us argue about bigger things than others. None of us agree on everything. How we handle ourselves can make or break our marriages. Most of the time I focused on how I could help my husband. On Sunday night however, God finally led me in the direction of helping myself. I was browsing bible study guides on amazon and this is what I decided to buy.

I was excited to have received it so quickly. It came in the mail today. I downloaded the corresponding book onto my Kindle and started it right away. By the time I finished the first chapter I felt closer to God. I decided I would immediately start applying what I learned. I can honestly say that just with what little wisdom I gained so far there was already a shift in the dynamic between my husband and me. It felt amazing and only made my desire for self improvement stronger. 

For anyone who doesn't fully understand the concept of what it actually means to submit to the authority of your husband, or for anyone who doesn't have the desire in their hearts to live for God and Christ, this book might make you a little uncomfortable but even with that aside there is a lot of good advice I believe any wife can appreciate!

To find the book on amazon click here