Why should I put God before my family?

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you"     Matthew 6:3 NIV

This question was something I didn't know the answer to for a long time. I was brought up in the church, I heard it all the time. "Put God first in your life." After I became a wife and mother I still didn't understand how I could possibly put God before my own spouse and children. This just sounded unfair to them, almost selfish. I didn't know God personally, why was it so important for him to be my first thought in everything?

The book that I have been reading, "The Excellent Wife," (see marriage tab of my blog) has been teaching me more than just how to be a Godly wife, it's been teaching me how to be a Godly human being.

God wants to be first in my life and now I understand why. I think about what God wants from me all the time. I think about how I am to act and treat others according to his word. When I'm happy, angry, frustrated, or sad, I open my bible and I read and I learn. It was like a light bulb came on.

God should be first in my life, because everything I learn from his word, makes my relationships better. Before I yell at someone for doing something wrong, I remember not to repay evil with evil. Before I spend too much time worrying over things, I remember to cast my anxieties on the Lord, because he cares for me. When I'm happy, I remember that it is the will of God for me to be happy, and give thanks to him for that. If I am feeling bitter about someone, I remember that God forgives my sins, and I can easily forgive others of theirs. If I am sad, I remember that the Lord saves the crushed in spirit.

All of these things come from scripture. When you pick up the bible, you will find verses all over it that can be comforting and make perfect sense if you have an open mind and an open heart.

"In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:6 NIV

Because I seek guidance from God for all things in my life, he gives this to me!

A big problem I had was spending way too much time wondering how this person or that person felt about me. What have I done wrong? What have I said that was wrong? Do they even like me?

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."    Galations 1:10 NIV

I don't worry anymore, I feel the love of those who love me, and wash away the sadness for those who don't accept me because I am glorifying God and he is my protector.

Putting my relationships with man first before God is like having people in your life and no guidance for living in harmony and happiness with them. Putting God first before man is having the wisdom and ability to make the relationships I have with the people I love thrive.

Makes sense to me.

Healthy Eating- The work is worth the reward!

Weight loss is not an uphill battle for me, and it's not a downhill battle either. It is a yo-yo battle. You would think that after 2 years of paying for a gym membership I would have this great body right? Wrong! Why? I was inconsistent! I would go the the gym every day, sometimes twice a day, and count calories for a month, lose 4 pounds, or for two months and lose 8, then I would have ONE DAY when I didn't get around to it, and one day turned into 2 days, and I blinked and 2 days turned into a month! So how much weight did I lose from my start point until now? Probably around 30-40 pounds. Because of my lack of consistency, and adding on all that weight I kept gaining back, I am a whopping 10 pounds lighter than I was when I started two years ago!

It's just sad isn't it? It happens to a lot of us. We pay all this money and sign these contracts and we just don't go to the gym. I'm not going to give you any excuses. I am holding myself accountable 100%. I got lazy, a lot. Now my gym membership is up. Even though I spent the last two years accomplishing less than I desired as far as the scale goes, I gained so much knowledge on how to eat healthier, that I know I can still do this! I'm not ready to give up, and I'm not ready to spend the rest of my 20's overweight. Now that I've shared all that with all of  you, what choice do I have?

Eating healthy isn't just about the calories you take it. It's the sugar, it's the fat, it's the sodium. So it is my mission to meal plan EVERY WEEK and put in the work it takes to be healthy! Here are some of the substitutes I have made in my diet:

1. Fat Free Cheese: Yes, I know it doesn't taste the same, but it has no fat and half the calories and you do get used to it. If you're a person who uses shredded cheese in a lot of your meals, or any at all, this will help!
2. Ground Turkey: I've been doing this one so long it makes me sick to my stomach to eat ground beef. This is one you need to get creative with because it is more bland than beef, however, spices and seasonings are a wonderful thing!
3. Chicken and Beef Broth: I used a lot of this, but even the "lower sodium" broths have hundreds of milligrams of sodium. So instead I buy herbox no-sodium beef and chicken bullion and make my own broth. Just as tasty and so much better for you!
4. Soda, Juice, and Tea: A no brainer here; drink more water! I might have a soda once a week, at the most. I'm glad for that because I have enough trouble with food.
5. Junk Food: Lucky for me I don't have much of a sweet tooth but who doesn't love a good bag of chips when they are available to them? I don't buy them I buy fresh fruit and vegetables instead. I know something like this seems expensive, but if you CUT OUT the junk and REPLACE it with the right stuff, the cost is about the same.

Of course I'm not perfect, of course I make wrong choices, that's why I'm still in this unhealthy body. So now for your reading and hopefully using pleasure, a Recipes and Healthy Living section on my blog. I'll be creating healthy alternatives to unhealthy meals for my benefit and yours. Happy Reading!

The Excellent Wife

I've been spending a lot of time praying about and seeking ways to improve my marriage. Let's confess for those of us who are married, our marriages aren't perfect. Some of us argue more than others. Some of us argue about bigger things than others. None of us agree on everything. How we handle ourselves can make or break our marriages. Most of the time I focused on how I could help my husband. On Sunday night however, God finally led me in the direction of helping myself. I was browsing bible study guides on amazon and this is what I decided to buy.

I was excited to have received it so quickly. It came in the mail today. I downloaded the corresponding book onto my Kindle and started it right away. By the time I finished the first chapter I felt closer to God. I decided I would immediately start applying what I learned. I can honestly say that just with what little wisdom I gained so far there was already a shift in the dynamic between my husband and me. It felt amazing and only made my desire for self improvement stronger. 

For anyone who doesn't fully understand the concept of what it actually means to submit to the authority of your husband, or for anyone who doesn't have the desire in their hearts to live for God and Christ, this book might make you a little uncomfortable but even with that aside there is a lot of good advice I believe any wife can appreciate!

To find the book on amazon click here

Billy is 2!

I can't believe my youngest baby is 2 years old today! Time has surely flown by for our little firecracker! And he is, such a firecracker!
When we started planning for another child after our wedding, we couldn't wait! We were blessed after about 5 months to find out we were expecting again! In the first months I was terribly sick, in the hospital a few times for dehydration, same as before. I love when that subsides and I'm really able to enjoy my pregnancy. I had gestational diabetes this time around, but I stuck to a healthy diet, exercised, and kept track of my blood sugar so despite the diabetes, the rest of my pregnancy was fairly easy.
Tracking back in time to October 9, 2012. I went into the hospital very early in the morning for a scheduled C-section. I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, but I was looking forward to still being less tired than the average Mom after giving birth, because I was skipping the hard work that is labor. Even though I had done this before I was extremely nervous. I was also very excited! We were having another baby boy, God had given us what we had prayed for, a namesake for my Dad. In just a few hours, William James Barnes would be born!
Sure enough, we got our healthy baby boy! Born at 9:18am at a small 6 pounds and 14 ounces, was this beautiful boy!

 

 Emotional reactions were tough for me because his birth was surgical. I was strapped to the operating table, oxygen in my nose, unable to move, feeling like I couldn't breath. Epidurals always made me feel horrible. I got a glimpse of him in my husbands arms before being carted up to recovery. About 3 hours later, I was settled into a room and given Billy for the first time. Love at first sight!

I always loved the hospital stays with my children. I know that sounds crazy but recovering from the birth felt like an amazing bonding experience to have with my children. This was my time to really get to know the life we created. I spend hours holding, kissing, and studying this tiny person, and feeling such joy and happiness! He was so perfect! (and still is)

Fast forward, two years. Billy is our firecracker! His personality is SO big and he has entertained and enriched our lives more than we could imagine. He is adventurous and loves to explore the world, especially in any other direction but ours. He is so independent, much like I'm told I was. He is me, inside and out. His attitude, his stubborn tendencies, he is even a morning person, just like me! He has my eyes, my dad's eyes, and it is such an amazing thing that our little boy, given the name of my Dad, looks like him also.

 

Billy is my little cuddle bug. He spends hours a day in my lap, cuddled up with me, and I take that time to take him in, because he won't be this small forever. He already wants to do his own thing. He is unstoppable!

We are so blessed to be this little boy's parents. His smile and his words will melt the hearts of anyone, especially mine. He is my energetic, happy, one of a kind boy, and I couldn't ask for more! Happy 2nd birthday Billy! We pray to be blessed with many more years on this earth raising you and watching you be extraordinary!



 



 





Timmy is 4!

My four year old....
It's hard to believe it, I am now the mother of a four year old boy! Now is a time of reflection, of talking about who he is and what he means to me.
Those days of infancy are long gone. Like any mom of toddlers, I sometimes long for those days. What I have with him now is so special, and is completely untradeable for the past or the future.
I have a four year old, and there is nothing else like it! It's hard to remember everything, but I do my best to bank all of the amazing things he says and does in my brain and in my heart.



I loved cuddling with infant Timmy, I could have cuddled with him all day long. That feeling hasn't gone away, and he doesn't always want me to hold onto him, but when he does, he cuddles back, and that is something I wouldn't give up to be able to cuddle my infant son again.

I loved his silent baby communication, and the baby babble. I loved knowing he was happy just by his smile, and as he started to grow into a toddler, his inability to form words properly was to die for. Now, I love listening to him tell me stories, I love how well he speaks, I love how he uses his words to tell me what he is thinking, feeling, imagining, and I've happily traded the silence and smiles for the "I love you's" and the conversation.
I loved that infant Timmy never talked back to me. I loved that everything I said and did was perfectly fine by him. Of course, I'm not going to say that I love his stubbornness, and the defiance, the testing of boundaries that comes with being a 4 year old. I'm going to say I love how he teaches me patience, and unconditional, perfect love. How despite those times when I feel like I can't even get him under control, and my head wants to explode, he is still the center of my universe!



My four year old is smart! He amazes me every day with his ability to take in all of the information he learns and not forget it! Tim and I just LOVE teaching him! We have to get creative, because he isn't one of those children who can sit and learn something. He needs to see the world around him and experience what he is learning and I love that about our sweet boy!

 



My four year old is forgiving. I make mistakes. I sometimes overreact to the little things. I don't always give him what he wants, but he forgives me for that, and I know this, because he still comes to me for comfort, protection, and love. He still wants me when he is hurt, angry, or not feeling well. I'm still going to be his Mom no matter what and while he is young, he is old enough to realize that. He is amazing enough to forgive me when I'm wrong or just don't agree with him.
My four year old is kind. He has those typical toddler problems with sharing, especially with his little brother. But he is kind, he is polite. He holds doors for me. He says please and thank you. He asks if you're ok if you have a coughing fit, and "Bless you" when you sneeze. If you remind him to share he will. If you're sad he will hug you.
My four year old has faith. He may not realize how vast and amazing God's love is yet, but he knows the importance of prayer. We had a conversation on our camping trip about heaven, and I'm not sure what he remember about that, or everything else we talk about where faith is concerned, but he's learning, and he's listening, and I'm looking forward to watching his awe and love for the Lord grow.
With every year we've left behind us, we've gained another with our precious boy! He is healthy, he is happy, and every day we all wake up we are blessed with that day together and it is awesome! 

 



It's incredible how a person of so few years can be so many things! It's unbelievable how a human being so young can teach me as an adult so much.
I wouldn't trade four years old for anything. I'm going to enjoy watching him grow every day I get to be on this earth with him.



Faith and Fingerprints

It's been a year and a half since my last blog post (I am very non-committal to this)

Why title this one "faith and fingerprints?"

The answer is simple. It's what a lot of my life is about. I am a wife, I'm raising children, and I'm doing my absolute best to be a good Christian woman.
Finger painting is messy, life is messy. That mess can cover the path towards salvation. It happens to the best of us, whether it takes us an hour to clear the mess, a day, weeks, months, or years, the important thing is to get going back on that path at some point.

My boys are growing up so fast! Timmy is almost 4 and Billy is almost 2.



If I'm being honest, and looking back on my last post, I am not living up to the words I posted about patience and understanding. If anything, my patience has thinned since then. I'm definitely a mom that needs improvement. I go to bed every night telling myself I'm going to use kinder words the next day, and I always fail. Having one toddler was tough, having two toddlers is more difficult than I ever could have imagined before getting to this point.

There is this great website. www.openbible.info I read my bible almost daily, but sometimes, when something is really bothering me, and I need a quick answer to my question about how to handle it, I use this tool. The internet is great isn't it?

"Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense." Proverbs 19:11

I just learned this one tonight. I am grateful for scripture, it gives me a great guideline to life and the way it should be lived in order to have peace and happiness. I am unhappy with myself when I am angry with my boys. They don't deserve my harsh words or raised voice. It also makes anger an issue for them.

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger." Proverbs 15:1

How true this is. When I get angry, it doesn't make the boys obedient and kind. They yell back at me, or fight with each other. This only frustrates me farther, and it becomes a cycle. It needs to start with me, I need to calm my mind and my heart. I am hoping putting my thoughts down like this gives me clarity. It is my hope that my honesty helps even one other mom out there realize she isn't alone when she has her moments of anger and frustration towards her kids, and I am a mom you can be honest with about it. I make no judgments here. In fact, if you are looking for a great book to read that is so unbelievably relatable for Moms like me I can recommend one. I haven't finished  reading it yet but I was in tears after the first couple of pages. You can find it on amazon.com

I realize this post has been a little scattered, much like the thoughts in my head. Bear with me. If I can commit to posting more often perhaps I can be more focused :)





Patience and Attention

I haven't written a post in a long time, and I think a suitable post would be one about patience. I am now a mommy of two beautiful baby boys. Timmy is 2 years old, and Billy is almost 4 months old, and they sure are Beautiful!

There are many adjustments to make involving having two children, the most challenging for me has been learning to be patient, especially with my toddler. Having to tell him 57 times in 10 minutes to take another bite of his dinner, trying to potty train and cleaning up accident after accident off the floor, trying to keep him from poking his brother in the eyes, among many other things, have tested me in ways I've never been tested. And when he does things like this:

after getting ahold of the baby powder. All I could do to not yell or scold in a harsh way was to laugh and snap a photo to show him what kind of trouble he would get into when he gets older. Another one happened tonight, you really can't take your eyes off these kids for a second, or they will dump all the fish food in the tank, meaning well to feed them, but probably ultimately killing them

I am a firm believer in positive reinforcement. I always have been. I believe in treating my children like the blessings that they are, and never taking them for granted. I believe in hugging them tight and loving them every day. As my family grows, using kind words and a soft voice and a gentle hand gets extremely difficult at times. My toddler is just learning, he is curious and he is growing. He is always testing his limits, and I still slip, I still make mistakes, I still do these things at least once on a daily basis, and I mess up. I am always trying to find ways to discipline him in a positive way. I pray to God for guidance all the time, because I don't always know what to do.

I posted this poem on my  wall, because it will be a constant reminder of what I need to do every day.