One year gone by....

/.  <------ That was via Timmy as I was getting ready to start this blog, and I left it, because it's all about him!
My little man is ONE YEAR OLD! WOW!

You know, most people would say to me "can you believe it, one year?" and actually, yes, I can. It really does feel like it's been a year. But I'm not going to worry that it means something is wrong with me. I will joyfully proclaim that time has been passing nice and slow, and I've been able to enjoy every moment with my little boy, and easily reflect on all of the ups and downs I've had in the last year watching him grow and develop more each day.
I often find myself watching him, sometimes playing, sometimes asleep, wondering "who will this child be when he grows up? what will he accomplish in life? will he go to college? get married? have children? What wonderful things did God put this child on this earth to do?
I've noticed as he is turning one, he is babbling more and more. Saying only a few words. Mama Daddy Uh-oh and fish. But he's trying to repeat the things we say (better watch what we say :)
He's not walking yet, but he's so close! He walks when we hold his hands, when he's holding onto one of his walking toys, or in his walker. And he pushes himself along on his four wheeler. Cutest thing ever! He has four teeth now, and he uses them! Every once in awhile he gets me good!
It has been such a blessing and a joy to watch this beautiful baby grow up, and from the time he was in my tummy, feel him grow up. It's so incredible that we can produce such wonderful gifts like him!
I'm going to reminisce a little about my pregnancy and labor and delivery. You can skip this part if you like :)
We had been talking about having a baby for awhile, and I was unsure for awhile. Then on Christmas Day, 2009 when I told my husband I was ready to have a baby and he was so excited!. By February, we had found out that we were expecting. That was fast! Let the fun begin! I did so great in the earliest months. Eating healthy, exercising, and then, the morning sickness hit, and it hit HARD! I was sick, all day every day. Ended up in the hospital twice for dehydration, not able to keep anything down in a 24 hour or more period. Got an IV and was sent on my way, which kept me good for a few days until it started up again.
Once the morning sickness FINALLY ended, it was great! I loved being pregnant! Watching this little life move around inside my belly, I could always tell towards the end when he was sticking his butt in the air! We really wanted a boy, and I cried when I found out we were having our little Timothy Wayne Barnes III!
Fast forward, the end of the road. I was 37 weeks, and I couldn't take it anymore! So swollen, my feet hurt too much to even walk from it. I could swear I was pre eclampsic, but was never actually diagnosed. At 38 weeks my doctor didn't want to take anymore chances with my blood pressure, and decided to induce me on September 30th. 4 days before my due date.

It was 6am when I walked into the hospital, and I was scared for the first time. YIKES! This is it! At 7am I was settled in and by 8am I was having the hard contractions. I'd like to think I was a trooper. For the first 8 hours, I didn't think labor was too bad. It hurt, yes, but I handled it well. My husband and my best friend were my support system, covered in blankets while I was sweating my butt off with the air conditioning cranked WAY up.
4pm! I didn't think it would be taking this long! After 8 hours, I got the epidural. I didn't want to, I wanted a natrual delivery, but I couldn't focus anymore, I need to learn more focusing techniques thats for sure!
8pm, still not there! I went all the way to 9 cm, but I didn't efface completely. Tried pushing for a little bit, and they tried to move things around in there so baby could come past, but it just wasn't happening. Then, my doctor, came in and said "lets get that baby out" At this point, despite how I wanted to do things, I was like "lets go!" Now I'm glad I got the epidural earlier on. It was so easy for them to whisk me off to surgery.

And then, at 9:18 pm. 9 pound 6.5 ounces, and 21 inches long, on his Daddy's 30th birthday, Timothy Wayne Barnes III came into the world via c section. So many tears. Daddy and I were crying, even though I only got to see this beautiful life for a few seconds, I heard his cry, and it was the most amazing thing!!
After 3 hours in the ICU for recovery I was brought into my room and got to hold him, my precious boy!
Then, more pain, the epidural went too far into my spine, and I had the worst headache of my life. I didn't know what the problem was, and I suffered for 4 days with this headache, only feeling relief when I was lying down. Daddy was great, he did everything for Timmy (except feed him of course) then I took Timmy to the ped the day after my discharge for a weight check and she suggested I go to the ER. After all of the doctors on the maternity ward, who should have known what was wrong with me, told me it was gas, the ER doctor knew what was wrong. I had a spinal fluid leak. I had to get a blood patch to fix it, great, another needle in my spine. But just hours after the procedure, I was great! And luckily, the hospital let me stay in the maternity ward to recover so I could have my little guy right there with me. 
Was it difficult? Yes. Would I do it again? Yes. It took me awhile to get over all of the suffering, but eventually, I did.

When I was pregnant, I was scared I wasn't going to love him, the way all mothers love their children. It never felt real to me, through the whole pregnancy. Then all my fears were gone, as I looked down at him and knew God meant for me to be this child's mother. Because he knew I'd love and care for him like I never did anyone else.